Mutual Insult and Threat Offenses Between Parties During Divorce Proceedings

1. Introduction

Divorce is not just a family law process; it is a highly emotionally intense period that often triggers criminal proceedings as well. When a marriage reaches its end, communication between the parties often ceases to be healthy; insults, threats, social media messages, and humiliating statements in front of family elders come into play.

These types of behaviors:

also a crime under the Turkish Penal Code .
also in determining fault in a divorce case, as well as in terms of compensation, alimony, and child custody .

Especially mutual insults and threats ;

In criminal proceedings, discussions revolve around "mutual insult," "unjust provocation," and "reduction of sentence/immunity."
In family courts, "serious fault - equal fault - shared fault" come to the forefront.

This article will examine the consequences of mutual insults and threats between parties during divorce proceedings , from both a criminal law and family law perspective, using a practical approach

2. The Basic Framework of Insult and Threat Crimes

2.1. The Crime of Insult: Attacking Honor and Reputation

The crime of defamation that protects a person's honor, reputation, and dignity . In divorce proceedings, this crime most often manifests itself in the following ways:

Severe insults directed at one's spouse,
Statements that attack "her honor, personality, and character,"
Making derogatory remarks in front of third parties, especially family members,
Humiliation through messages, emails, or social media posts.

In order to speak of the existence of the crime of insult, generally:

Attributing a concrete act or fact (for example, saying "you are a thief, a swindler")
Or insulting or offensive remark, so offensive that it is incompatible with human dignity.
The statements made are likely to damage the victim's reputation within society ,
The perpetrator acts knowingly and willingly to achieve this result

It is necessary.

Common examples seen during divorce proceedings:

Harsh, character-targeting epithets such as "You're not a man, you're not a human being, you're spineless,"
Degrading accusations regarding a spouse's fidelity, honor, work, or family,
Statements used for psychological pressure, such as "You're already crazy, you're mentally ill, nobody wants you.".

Insult in front of or in their absence . For example, saying "he/she is already immoral and dishonorable" while sitting with one's spouse's friends constitutes an insult in absentia.

2.2. Threat Crime: Intimidation and Attack on Freedom of Will

The crime of threatening aims to protect a person's inner peace and freedom of will . In the context of divorce, threats often involve:

Threats to life such as, "I'll kill you, I'll finish you off, you won't get out of this house alive,"
Threats against bodily integrity, such as "I'll break your legs, I'll leave you crippled,"
Statements that exert psychological pressure, such as "I won't let you see the children, I'll make your life miserable, I'll get you fired,"
Statements that target social reputation, such as "If you try to end this relationship, I will humiliate you in front of everyone."

It appears in this form.

For the crime of threat to exist:

The words spoken likely to create serious fear and anxiety ,
It must involve a serious threat of harm to the life, bodily integrity, sexual inviolability, or property of the person or their close relatives
The perpetrator acted with the intention of creating this fear

is sought.

Threats of death against a spouse , threats to prevent the spouse from seeing their children or to abduct them , and threats of economic ruin have extremely serious consequences in divorce proceedings, both under criminal and family law.

3. Typical Insults and Threats During Divorce Proceedings

3.1. Insults and Threats During Arguments at Home

The parties mostly:

In arguments within the home,
In the presence of children or grandparents,
During moments of intense anger

They use insulting and threatening language towards each other .

Example scenarios:

When one spouse repeatedly curses at the other during an argument, saying things like, "Get out of this house, I'll lose my honor if I stay married to you,"
Threatening your spouse with "I'll kill you, you won't see the end of the night" in a fit of rage,
Throwing objects, banging on walls, physical violence accompanied by threatening words.

Such behavior categories of insult and threat , as well as, in serious cases assault, property damage, and domestic violence requiring protective measures for the family .

3.2. Insults and Threats via Messages, Calls, and Social Media

In modern divorce proceedings, most evidence comes from electronic sources

WhatsApp, Telegram, SMS messages,
Messages or comments posted via Instagram, Facebook, or X (Twitter),
Voice calls, video call recordings,
Screenshots of emails and private messages.

Examples:

A series of "profane" messages sent late at night,
Degrading comments written under your spouse's profile picture,
Posts that imply or disclose private information about a spouse's personal life,
Threatening messages such as, "I won't let you live in this city, I'll take the children and leave, no one will be able to find you.".

This type of evidence is extremely powerful in both criminal investigations and divorce cases

3.3. Humiliation in the Presence of Third Parties

One spouse:

Mother-in-law, father-in-law, siblings,
Neighbors, colleagues,
The children's teacher, doctor, and school administration

Humiliating someone in front of them is of particular importance in terms of the crime of defamation and in assessing fault in a divorce case.

For example:

The constant repetition of phrases like "This person is already immoral, untrustworthy, and mentally ill" in front of others,
Saying derogatory things about your spouse at their workplace, in front of colleagues,
During a meeting with the child's teacher, the other spouse was portrayed as psychologically unstable, a liar, and a bad parent.

Such actions often of psychological violence, systematically damaging the spouse's social standing .

4. Mutual Insult and Threat: From a Criminal Law Perspective

4.1. Assessment in Cases of Mutual Insult

In divorce proceedings, insults are often not one-sided but mutual . The parties involved are:

They hurl harsh words at each other in every argument
They exchange insults through messages,
The intensity of the argument increases equally.

From a criminal law perspective, two important situations arise:

Mutual insult and the possibility of reduced or no punishment: In cases where both parties are both victims and defendants, if the court determines that the insults were mutual and of similar severity, it may reduce the sentence or decide that there is no need to impose a sentence on one of the parties
Provocation situation:
If one party has been subjected to systematic abuse for a long time, and the other party only reacts with a harsh word once, a reduction in sentence due to provocation may be considered for the party who reacted.

The criminal judge considers both parties' statements, the sequence of events, the personalities of the parties, their previous conduct, and the content of their correspondence.

4.2. Reciprocal Behaviors in the Crime of Threat

In terms of threats, reciprocal situations can also be observed:

The parties mutually issuing threats such as "killing, injuring, kidnapping children,"
One side made serious threats, the other made less severe threats,
One side's constant threatening behavior ultimately leads the other side to lose control and utter threatening words.

The criminal court also rules on the crime of threatening:

The seriousness of the parties' statements,
How closely are these statements connected to the possibility of an actual attack?
the balance of power (physical, economic, psychological) between the parties,
Previous cases of violence

Taking this into account, one party may be deemed more at fault than the other.

5. Mutual Insult and Threat in Divorce Cases: Fault, Compensation, and Alimony

5.1. Insult and Threat in Fault Assessment

In divorce cases faultis a key determinant both in the granting of divorce and in terms of compensation and alimony. Acts of insult and threat generally:

A serious flaw that fundamentally undermines the marital union,
Threats, in particular, are often a form of physical and psychological violence perpetrated by the other spouse.

It is accepted as such.

Scenarios:

If one spouse systematically belittles, devalues, constantly yells at, and threatens the other, that spouse is considered to be seriously at fault
If both parties insult each other and use similarly harsh language in every argument, they are often equally at fault .
one party's insults are prolonged, while the other's a one-time reaction under provocation , the greater fault often lies with the party that systematically insults.

5.2. Impact on Non-Pecuniary Damages

Acts of insult and threat often a serious attack on personal rights . If the conditions for moral damages are met in a divorce case:

The spouse who is a victim of systematic insults and threats,
She claimed that her personal rights had been violated and that the marriage had become unbearable for her
Especially if they can prove that they were humiliated in front of children or third parties,

Awarding compensation for non-pecuniary damages is a common outcome.

In cases of mutual insults:

If it is proven that both sides used harsh words against each other,
the parties equally at fault ,

Compensation for emotional distress is usually either not awarded at all or is set at a very low level.

5.3. Alimony and its Effect on Child Custody

Acts of insult and threat:

It does not directly eliminate the conditions for alimony payments;
However, if the spouse requesting alimony heavily at fault , this may be interpreted against them.

Regarding custody:

Parents who constantly insult, yell at, and threaten their children,
If it presents a profile that negatively affects the child's psychological development,

This is seriously considered in custody proceedings. If the child's best interests require it, abusive and threatening behavior may contribute to custody being awarded to the other parent.

6. Gathering Evidence: Proving Insult and Threat

In divorce and criminal proceedings proofis one of the most critical elements. Since most acts of defamation and threats occur within the home, via telephone or text message, the accurate collection of evidence is vital.

6.1. Message Logs and Screenshots

WhatsApp, SMS, Telegram, social media messages;
Screenshots,
Backing up and printing out messages,

These are the most commonly used pieces of evidence.

Points to consider:

Saving messages so that the date and time information is visible,
Presented in a way that shows the entire flow of the conversation , not just the words of one side
If possible, have the message contents verified by an information technology expert or specialist

6.2. Audio and Video Recordings

Conversations containing insults and threats are sometimes detected through audio or video recordings. The legality is a separate matter of debate; roughly speaking:

In order to prove that a person has committed a crime against himself,
If it is not possible to obtain evidence in any other way,
Recording the conversation in his/her own environment,

In practice, such recordings are often not considered illegally obtained evidence and can be evaluated accordingly. However, the specific circumstances of each case are different; therefore, to seek legal advice .

6.3. Witness Statements

Apartment neighbors,
Family members,
The children's babysitter, close friends,

Witnesses may testify to insults and threats exchanged between spouses. Witness statements are particularly important in proving events that occur within the home and cannot be supported by written or electronic evidence.

6.4. Law Enforcement and Health Reports, Restraining Order

Reports made to the police after the threat, official records kept,
Medical reports documenting injuries and assault obtained after the incident ,
Protection and restraining orders issued under Law No. 6284 ,

It constitutes strong evidence in both criminal cases and divorce proceedings

7. Investigation and Prosecution Process: Complaint, Mediation, Suspended Sentence

7.1. Complaint Period and Procedure

The crime of insult and certain forms of threat are subject to complaint. Therefore:

The victim must exercise their right to complain within a limited period from the date they learn of the act and the perpetrator .
Complaints can be filed with the prosecutor's office, the police station, or through electronic systems.
The petition the date and place of the incident, the words used, any evidence, and any witnesses .

Since the complaint is often pursued in parallel with the divorce proceedings, the family law aspect must also be considered in terms of strategy.

7.2. Mediation Institution

Certain forms of the crimes of insult and threat are subject to mediation. This means:

The prosecutor's office sends the file to the mediation office
The mediator speaks with the parties; if the parties reach an agreement,
The criminal proceedings may end, the case may be dismissed, or a decision of no grounds for prosecution may be issued.

There are two dimensions to reconciliation in the divorce process:

Its role in concluding a criminal case: The parties reach a criminal settlement, and the case is closed.
Impact from a family law perspective: Reconciliation does not mean that the acts of insult and threat never occurred; however, it indicates that the parties have mutually closed the matter from a criminal standpoint. The family court, however, continues to evaluate the events within its own discretion regarding the evidence.

In some cases, parties may choose to waive criminal charges along with issues such as alimony, compensation, and property division as part of a divorce settlement.

7.3. Postponement of the Announcement of the Verdict (HAGB)

In cases of insult and threat, a suspended sentence . Suspended sentence decision:

Despite a verdict being reached against the defendant,
The ruling shall not produce legal effect until the end of a specified probationary period .
The sentence is annulled if no intentional crime is committed during the probation period

It is an institution that provides this.

Regarding the divorce process:

The fact that a suspended sentence has been issued regarding the spouse,
Although in criminal law, a verdict does not have the same consequences as a final conviction,

This constitutes significant evidence for the family court regarding the existence of the incident . Courts generally take suspended sentence decisions into account in terms of determining fault.

8. Conducting Criminal Cases and Divorce Cases Simultaneously

8.1. Possibility of a Delaying Issue

The parties in a divorce case:

They may request that no fault be determined before the criminal case regarding the allegations of insult and threat is concluded.
The court may, if it deems necessary in the specific case, make the outcome of the criminal trial a preliminary issue .

However, this is not mandatory. Family courts often:

the statements and evidence in the criminal case file via UYAP ,
It is possible to assess fault even without waiting for the outcome of the criminal case.

8.2. Interaction Between Criminal Court and Family Court Decisions

In the criminal case:

The conviction decision,
The acquittal decision,
Agreement minutes,
Suspended legal decisions,

While not absolutely binding in divorce cases , it constitutes strong evidence

For example:

If a spouse has been convicted of insult and threats, the family court usually considers this a serious case of gross negligence
If an acquittal is given, it doesn't always mean "the incident never happened"; the acquittal may also be due to insufficient evidence. The family court can further evaluate the case based on the witnesses and other evidence before it.

9. Strategic Recommendations for Implementation

9.1. From the Perspective of the Party Subjected to Insult and Threat

To note down events along with their dates ,
If possible, save the messages instead of deleting them, and take screenshots.
In situations of serious threat, immediately contact law enforcement.
Requesting a protection order and restraining order if necessary
especially in court,
Working with a specialist lawyer who can handle both divorce and criminal proceedings simultaneously ,

This is important for the effective protection of rights.

9.2. From the Perspective of the Party Facing Allegations of Insult and Threat

Before making hasty and emotional counter-complaints or counter-moves ,
Carefully review message content, conversation history, and your own behavior
If truly unfair and harsh words have been spoken, apology and reconciliation .
It is important to remember that negative behaviors affecting not only the spouse but also the children and the environment can have adverse consequences in the future regarding custody, compensation, and alimony

This will be helpful in limiting potential damage.

9.3. Understanding the Right Balance in Mutual Insults and Threats

If one party is constantly aggressive and the other is mostly defensive and reactive,
If one party's actions are more systematic, planned, and degrading,
If acts of threat are combined with a history of physical violence and abuse,

These situations are considered gross misconduct by both criminal judges and family court judges .

Therefore, the attitude of "he insulted me, so I insulted him back" often doesn't equalize the balance of fault; courts try to determine the party more at fault based on the course and intensity of the incident.

10. Conclusion: In divorce proceedings, the limit of verbal agreement is the legal limit

It's understandable for parties to feel hurt, offended, and angry during a divorce. However, behaviors involving insults and threatshave gone beyond being merely "emotional reactions" and have become:

A crime from the perspective of criminal law,
Gross negligence in terms of family law,
A determining factor in terms of compensation, alimony, and child custody.

It becomes.

Especially in cases of mutual insults and threats , parties often tend to defend themselves with the thought, "They said the same thing to me." However, the law evaluates the behavior of both parties separately; the spouse who systematically uses violence, constantly exerts pressure, and uses threats as a means may be considered more at fault than the other spouse

Because:

Communication during the divorce process should be conducted as calmly, in writing, and in a controlled manner as possible .
It should not be forgotten that every word spoken in an emotional reaction could later be included in the case file as "evidence,"
In cases of insult and threat, it is necessary to act with professional support, considering both the criminal law and family law aspects of one's rights

This is extremely important for both parties in terms of criminal liability and potential loss of rights in divorce proceedings.

Family Law, divorce, criminal law, criminal procedure, defamation, Turkish Penal Code, Threat Crime

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